Gratitude & Grief

The last few weeks in my ward have been difficult. We have had families experience great loss and suffering with the loss of children. These experiences have touched many of us and have reminded me of the many things I have to be grateful for. It is hard to watch people suffer through pain and loss but I feel as though I have been taught by them. Today during a funeral, I was touched and moved like many were, but I wondered why I never understand the gospel as clearly as when something sad or difficult happens. I know this is my own flaw and my lack of preparation. I find myself so easily caught up in day to day that I forget to pause and reflect about the more important things in life. I also know the Lord teaches us through our own experiences and those of others and we would be unable to learn and grow without challenges and trials. I feel grateful for the gospel and the knowledge of the plan of happiness.
Grief affects each of us very differently. We all have different cards dealt to us and so we have different challenges. I have experienced difficult sorrow with my family, Wade's family and that of close friends. It is natural to want to fix things but it is impossible to understand others pain and loss. In my experience the best help you can be is to be available and be a good listener. Sometimes when people seem at their best they are actually at their worst. It is important to be mindful of others and their loss and try to comfort them.
I am so blessed to be a mom and I need to cherish each day I have with my children. My sister Nicole lost twins at birth and I sometimes forget the void she must feel each day. She understands the atonement and the possibiltiy of being together again but that doesn't mean you forget the loss. Nicole, Jocelyn , and Jill have all handled their individual loss differently. They have all experienced good days and bad but live their lives to the fullest. I am thankful for their examples. My hope is that with time these families feelings of emptiness and extreme sadness will lessen with time. My goal for myself is to show more gratitude and remember the countless blessings I have in my life.